We are wired to focus outside of ourselves to find happiness. It's really not our fault. But listen to your thoughts and notice whenever you hear yourself saying, "If only this would be different or they would change, then I would be at peace or happy." This is a telling sign that you're giving your Light away.
To feel worthy and secure, excited and alive, it's what we do: turn outside for quick fixes.
These come in many shapes and sizes, whether it's seeking approval, blaming someone, over-working, controlling our loved ones, going shopping, giving into anger, going for that next glass of wine, a piece of pie, or body to have sex with. Feel free to add your own. Don't misunderstand, all these do give us something, or we wouldn't do them. It's not about morality or right and wrong. Here's the problem: this kind of pleasure can only be temporary, and ultimately, leads to greater emptiness and chaos. Why? Because we usually don't understand that these are attempts to fill our black hole with fillers, and they are inherently futile. It's like feeding our thirst with salt; not only are we still thirsty, but the craving grows stronger than it was before.
Ok, so what's the good news? We are all born to overcome this tendency, and only through our triumph of overcoming, do we flourish and live the blessings we are meant to receive. These can be big and small victories -- like if we are 2% less angry today than yesterday or if we begin to notice our preoccupation to get credit for a job well done, consider it a win.
The truth is we have no idea of the greatness we are capable of.
Nor do we realize or possess the proper humility to grasp how important it is to seek wisdom and those wiser than ourselves, who can help us go beyond our natural inclination or in many cases what our schools and parents have taught us. We all need a map, the kind that helps us elevate. And we must have someone we trust, not to make us more dependent, but the opposite, to help us find the source within and create the reality we desire.
It’s not easy to be honest with ourselves, to be with our pain and take full responsibility for our lives -- essentially it's not easy to grow up. And there is nothing more challenging than transforming our negative traits and self-damaging thoughts. But the fulfillment that comes from such a task is real and lasting. When the souls, who entrust me to help them, take that step and reach out, together we embark on a truly extraordinary path, far beyond relief and most often one that transcends what they ever dreamed possible. The proof is in the pudding.