Our experience is defined by what we choose to pay attention to.
Social Media has had an unmistakable impact on how so many people experience their lives. While bringing in some benefits, like offering a network of support for like-minded and marginalized folks, the negative consequences of social media use are plenty and mounting, especially when it comes to the mental well being of teens.
Our brain development is especially sensitive between ages 10-19 which is also a time when risky behaviors, addictive patterns and depression can emerge. The intent of social media is to hook our brains, to make us addicted to the dopamine of instant gratification. Teens are especially susceptible to this addictiveness, even more so for those with ADHD tendencies. During adolescence, when identities and sense of self-worth are forming, brain development is most vulnerable to body dysmorphia, peer pressures and opinions, and peer comparison.
The U.S. Surgeon General has issued a new report on social media and youth mental health. This report acknowledges some of the benefits of young people using social media, but mostly, it highlights the “profound risk of harm to the mental health and well-being of children and adolescents.” These harmful effects become part and parcel to the foundation these young people are creating for the rest of their lives.
Some important findings:
Prevalence: Up to 95% of youth ages 13–17 report using social media with more than a third saying they use it "almost constantly.” 13 is commonly the required minimum age used by social media platforms in the U.S., yet nearly 40% of children ages 8–12 use social media.
Variables: The length of time, the type of content, the interactions with other users, the disruption of other healthy habits and activities––these are all factors that determine how social media impacts youth.
Connection and Social Support: LGBTQ youths find support, connection with peers and help with their identity through social media. Adolescents in the broader population find support as well and 80% say it helps them to feel more connected to their friends’ lives.
Mental Health: Data has consistently shown that social media can harm the mental health of youth. Comparing causes most of the harm as youth on social media perceive others as looking better, having nicer lives, more friends and more fun causes most of the harm. The risk of depression and anxiety doubled among the 7,000 12-15 year olds in a longitudinal study. Reducing social media time has also been shown to significantly improve depressive symptoms. Increased time on social media was also found as a predictor of poor body image, online harassment, poor sleep and low self esteem in a study of more than 14,000 14-year-olds. Girls were more impacted than boys.
Harmful Content: Social media has been found to expose and normalize self harm behaviors, exacerbate body image issues and eating disorders, and increase depression among youth from cyberbullying.
Addictive/Compulsive Behaviors: Evidence suggests that social media can become compulsive. Excessive use, like substance abuse and gambling addiction, can lead to changes in the brain structure. The poor sleep quality and reduced sleep commonly associated with high social media use leave youth vulnerable to depressive symptoms, altered neurological development and suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
A Way Forward: What Parents and Caregivers Can Do
1.Create a Family Media Plan (out of care not punishment)
Getting input from your teen, together come up with an agreed-upon plan to create tech-free times and zones. Many keep family mealtimes and in person gatherings device-free. Pick an accountability-buddy in your family to help support keeping certain promises to yourself. For example, my husband and I made a promise to each other to wait at least 15 minutes before opening our phones every morning. Keep in mind that restricting screen time at least 1 hour before bedtime and through the night has been shown to make a difference on sleep quantity and quality.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Be sure to make social media restrictions NOT as a punishment or reward for good or bad behavior. Come from love and care, blended with compassion for how hard this is.
2. Practice What You Preach
We need to start with ourselves. Healthy habits are contagious. Check your own frequency and addiction to social media. How are you nurturing your relationships and your hobbies. Parents can make a huge difference by setting a good example of what responsible and healthy social media use looks like by 1) limiting your own use 2) being mindful of when and how you share information or content about their child 3) modeling respectful behavior on your social media accounts and 4) engaging in the myriad of simple pleasures that life offers.
3. Teach Your Kids
a) About Technology and the Brain
Discuss with your children the benefits and risks of social media. Expose them to this report from the U.S. Surgeon General and to what we know about the harm social media usage has been shown to have on their younger brain as it is developing, their mental well being, sense of self worth and to their mental well being.
b) The difference between Mindful and Mindless, Distraction and Fun
Model the value of being alone with your thoughts, of boredom, of being mindful in the present moment. These are all a springboard for creativity, of real connection, of viscerally enjoying your life experience. Real fun comes from playfulness, connection and flow. SCROLLING IS FAKE FUN!
c) To Connect their Own Dots for How Social Media Makes Them Feel
Encourage your children to be internally curious. Ask them, without judgment, how they feel about themselves and their lives when they are scrolling versus other activities and ways of connecting with people. Help them connect the dots for themselves. Maybe they love music or field hockey, being outside or working with their hands. Suggest that they ask themselves, “What do I really enjoy?” “When do I know I’m in the flow, connecting with others or myself? “When am I really playful?”
Take Away:
Balance is the key and with the dopamine nation we live in, we all need help and boundaries. Especially our teens, so they can receive the benefits and be protected from the perils of the online world.
