A friend recently told me that he works very hard in his career, only so that he can retire as soon as possible. He is not quite 40 years old. It’s a pervasive mindset in our culture to crave retirement, seeking the relief of a life free of stress and responsibility. There is a part of all of us that yearns for this freedom.
While some feel quite a sense of relief and peace in their post-work life, there is a curious and common paradox about retirement. Research shows that those who retire into a life of ease often find themselves declining in their physical health and mobility, and often face feelings of loss, depression and anxiety. So what is the solution here? How do we approach this stage of life, actually feeling more alive and well, not less so? How do we thrive in our retirement?
Preparing ahead makes a difference, emotionally, financially, socially and physically.
STEP 1: EXPLORE THE UNFORESEEN LOSSES WITH RETIREMENT
Many who decline with retirement do so because they are unprepared for the unforeseen losses to their fulfillment that comes with their work cessation. Work fulfills so many needs we don’t even realize––of mind, body and spirit––and so we tend to under-appreciate its value to the quality of our lives. Work tends to provide us with:
Mental engagement
A sense of purpose
Social connection
An outlet to add value and express our gifts
Structure
Achievement
Financial security
Growth opportunities
Creativity
Fun
Distraction from other areas of your life where you feel stuck (not always a good thing but something to be prepared for)
THOUGHT INTO ACTION: Take a look at the list above and think about which of the needs that work has fulfilled, recently and over the years. That doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of your work that you will be happy to relinquish. But identifying what holes your retirement might leave can give you some good direction for proactively planning your lifestyle after retirement. Now it’s time to get creative and redefine retirement.
Step 2: REDEFINE RETIREMENT: A PIVOT NOT A STOP
Our minds have a bad habit of thinking in black & white, binary terms. Either we are on or we are off, working or not, stressed or retired. When it comes to retirement and thriving, try and refrain from the “either/or” and the “I'll be happy when…” mindset. A fulfilled life will always involve balancing effort and engagement with rest and leisure, and yes, it makes sense that we adjust this ratio as we age.
I like to think of retirement as a pivot, not a full stop. The key is to stay on the journey, to see all stages of life as a creative process of self realization. The ancient wisdom of Kabbalah teaches that we are all in a constant flux of fighting for something, reaching that next level, and then resting. The rest is the rejuvenation for the next phase in the process. They sages call this universal process in life the Four Phases. The more we embrace these phases, the more alive and well we continue to feel.
STEP 3: CONTINUE INVESTING IN THE ONGOING GAME OF LIFE
To the extent that we are continuing to engage and grow, staying active with our bodies and our minds, using what we have to give for our sake and for others, this is what helps us feel connected and alive. Desire is our engine and it’s vital to redirect our desire when we reach post-work life, not let our desire wither.
Consider part-time initiatives: For retirees, many find that part time “work” suits them best. Please don’t confuse work for paid employment. Work could mean getting more involved with grandchildren, running an errand for someone, making a meal, pursuing a volunteer or creative interest, using your years of experience in some way to add value to someone else.
I cannot recommend enough to continue investing in the ongoing game of life. As long as we are breathing, there is always a next level––even if it’s at a slower pace, whether that be in the quality of your relationships, your own self love and care, the way you want to add value to make a difference, the type of personal characteristics you want to foster in yourself.
Keep growing and developing. I personally put great effort into keeping my focus on the “being level” more than the doing when it comes to fulfilling my purpose . Becoming the kind of person I want to become, more than the outside achievements, this is often counter-intuitive but what brings deep fulfillment.
*A NOTE FOR WORKING FOLKS: Appreciate the Benefits of Leisure NOW
I remember my chiropractor asking me every visit about the pace I was keeping. As important as “how is your neck feeling?” She said that from what she has witnessed, that those who go strong, so strong that they are bulldozing through their work lives and every aspect of their lives, that these are the ones whose bodies check out and fall apart. Not only that, but their shortened time on the planet becomes their way of saying, I’m kaputty––enough is enough.
Engage is a key word, and yes, along with balance. At all stages of life, we benefit greatly to allow breaks and breathing stretches for leisure and fun in between the times of efforts. These breaks are not only part of the joy of life, but they also help us to create and add value from a place of strength. I wish for everyone who is working to find ways to balance while you are working. Moving away from the binary idea of work, work, work, and then rest later. There is a whole movement to the benefits of leisure, and that’s a good thing.
